Banish the Demons
by Daughter of Thranduil
Summary: Bookverse, just after the first novel. Jack is depressed and Stephen helps him. My First Master and Commander Fic. Please R & R.


**Just a short piece of Jack and Stephen friendship. Let me know what you think of it.**

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It really was inexplicable; Jack Aubrey should have been overjoyed. He had been returned to British Authorities, having been a French prisoner; he had been acquitted at his court marshal; he had been given back his sword and his taking of the Cacafuego was the talk of Port Mahon. The horrific bruising and singeing he had obtained while blowing up the fort had gone. He was being looked upon as a hero, but he did not feel very much like one.

Yet, despite this, he was lying listlessly upon his bed in the inn, fully clothed and in a state of utter despondency. His bright blue eyes were fixed on nothing and his expression was one of utter disconsolateness. He was full of the blackest feelings of depression imaginable.

It was in this state of despondency that Stephen Maturin found him later in the morning, which caused the doctor great alarm. Despite all the predicaments and injustice they had met in their times together, even when he had been denied promotion, Jack had never allowed himself to dwell on the bad. His native good cheer had always outweighed any depressing thought and this cheerfulness was one of the many things which had so endeared him to the taciturn Irish doctor.

"Good morning, Jack." Stephen said brightly, startling his friend - who had been so absorbed in his own thoughts that he had not even noticed Stephen coming through the door.

"Good morning, Stephen." replied Jack, in a mere shadow of his usual hearty voice. The young captain began to sit up, pushing back a stray strand of bright blond hair, which had fallen loose from its bindings.

"No, don't sit up." said Stephen crossing over to sit on the edge of his bed. "Pray, hold still for a moment and allow me to check that wound on your forehead."

Jack obediently laid his head back down on his pillows while Stephen dipped a flannel in the wash bowl and began to clean the latest in Jack's considerable collection of wounds: a startling graze to the forehead, which he had acquired on the day of his court marshal by forgetting to duck while passing through a door.

"Oh, Jack; it could only be you!" grinned Stephen, watching Jack flinch slightly as the cold water made the wound smart. "You come through a gargantuan battle and then you injure yourself on a door frame!" He dried the wound gently and then met his friend's pain-filled blue eyes.

"Brother, what troubles you?" he asked in concern, laying the flannel back by the washbowl. "You are in pain. Is it the wounds?"

"No Stephen, it ain't." Jack sighed. "It's uncommon strange – maybe you'll understand it being a medical man – but I've never felt so damnably low in my life!"

He sat up, swinging his legs round to set his feet on the floor so that he was side by side with Stephen on the edge of his bed. He looked up into his companion's anxious eyes.

"I failed them, Stephen." he said sadly, his face a picture of distress. "Dillon and Ellis. Especially Dillon – and the guilt haunts me. He despised me; I offended him so many times. I don't mean it, but I say things without thinking and he was killed before I…"

"Jack, stop right there." Stephen haunted his friend's ramble gently. "James Dillon did not hate you – far from it. He admired you greatly, I know that for a fact, though he may not have showed it to you in his behaviour. You must understand, his scorn was for himself; he was fighting a battle much bigger than any naval combat in his own heart. I will not elaborate as to why that was, but pray believe me. Those two young men were casualties of war, Jack; a war that you are in no way responsible for."

"But I was so damned foolhardy!" Jack groaned. "I was so eager to bring back another prize and…"

"And take one back you did!" said Stephen comfortingly. "The Admiralty itself commended your actions, Jack. They all admired your courage and no one has had a single complaint to make about the whole thing. Though Lord knows I am no great judge of naval matters, I fail to see how you could have defended your ship and carried out the manoeuvre any more successfully than you did. You did marvellously, Captain Aubrey, and you must not let the unfortunate deaths of two officers blight your success. Even Nelson has lost men in battle. Trust me, please."

"I shall trust you, dear Stephen." said Jack, deeply touched. "I have great regard for your opinion."

"Well, it is my opinion, my dear, that you have every cause for cheer at present." smiled Stephen, looking on Jack with pure affection. "Your success has been labelled a great victory, you were honourably acquitted at the court marshal, you kept your rank, the bruise on you face has faded away and your hair is growing back splendidly."

Stephen's smile finally made Jack's mouth turn upwards, though even then it was not with his normal infectious joy.

"Now, put it from your mind, Jack!" he said sternly. "Please do not make me watch my particular friend destroy himself with guilt."

"I will, Stephen, I promise will." said Jack earnestly. "I shall be myself again soon."

"Then I shall endeavour to distract you from bleak thoughts until then!" grinned Stephen, standing up. "Come, gather up your violin and let us return to my lodgings. How should you like a little music? Will you attempt that new Adagio with me?"

Jack's face truly did brighten then, and he returned Stephen's affectionate smile wholeheartedly as he got to his feet.

"With all my heart, my dear." he said. "With all my heart."


End file.
